One of the biggest discussions to be had between Stephen and I was the ‘When’ of our wedding! I am a very “full speed ahead” type of person and so I wanted to get married in 2017 (we got engaged in 2016!). Stephen is of the “slow and steady wins the race” mindset and so he preferred setting a date in 2018. We went back and forth on this issue for months. It is so easy to become impatient when it comes to getting married! I was (and am) so ready to call Stephen my husband.
I have found that sometimes, sooner is not better (and sometimes it is). It depends on the situation, and it’s important to look at the facts to determine what wedding date is best for you. My head often stays in the clouds; I’ve always had a wild imagination and I love conjuring up the biggest, craziest ideas for all sorts of occasions.
I was dreaming of an 11/11/17 wedding. I thought for sure I wanted to get married in the fall and I thought for sure I wanted to get married in 2017. Stephen much preferred a November 2018 wedding, which I did not even want to entertain the thought of! At the time it was 28 months away!
Stephen had to remind me several times that our circumstances would be making our wedding planning process a little bit different from everyone else. We are both graduate students and are paying for our wedding almost completely by ourselves. The more we looked into how much weddings cost (even small ones), the more we realized we needed a lot of time to save up, and so I started coming around to the idea of a 2018 wedding.
Once we decided on 2018, I began to feel like the idea of a fall wedding was not sitting as well with me as it had been before. I was still uncomfortable with just how far away it was and realized how quickly the sun sets in the fall (my best friend and MOH is a wedding photographer and clues me in to some of these things!), plus, although North Carolina weather is unpredictable every month of the year, this past fall in NC had terrible weather — every weekend seemed to be stricken with a hurricane or some other form of extreme weather and my dedication to an outdoor wedding indicated that maybe fall was not the best time of year for us. When we decided on our wedding location, we discovered that November was the rainiest month of the year there by far, and that solidified our decision to change our wedding date.
At one point Stephen asked me what anniversary we would use when we got married, and I told him our wedding anniversary of course! He jokingly said he wasn’t sure he’d be able to remember any other anniversary dates and would just like to get married on our dating anniversary (May 5th) so that he wouldn’t forget! He was kidding of course, but the statement gave me pause. I hadn’t even thought about a May wedding and certainly hadn’t thought about getting married on our actual anniversary. I told Stephen I was actually really liking the idea of getting married on our dating anniversary and he said, “Is it on a Saturday in 2018? If so, it was meant to be!” I opened my calendar app on my phone, thinking there was no way it would work out that way, but there it was: 5/5/18 was on a Saturday! And just like that, we had our wedding date set.
All the way up to May 5th of this year, people would squint their eyes and scrunch their nose when they heard we had set a date so far away. I’m not going to lie, I got to a point when I would blush when I told people our wedding date because I was a little embarrassed about the fact that it was almost two years away. Now that we are less than a year away and the funny looks have stopped, I regret having ever been embarrassed. Your wedding is just that: your wedding. You can set a date for whenever you want to get married! Whether it’s six months away or three years away, don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t fit into the norm. The truth is, I’m proud of the circumstances we face that caused us to pick a further our wedding date. I’m proud of the fact that we are both working super hard for advanced degrees and that we are working super hard to pay for the wedding ourselves.
I’m also proud of the fact that we will have a two year engagement! This is such a fun season of life and I am glad I get two years to call Stephen my fiancé before I call him my husband. Wedding planning has been so much fun! It has not been stressful at all (except for a few financial discussions that will be talked about later on!) and I have not felt rushed at any point because I’ve had so much time to do everything. I’ve been able to get started booking everything early and have been able to book all my dream vendors and didn’t have to worry about my vendors already being booked because I was inquiring a year and a half in advance! I’ve had time to do research and have not booked anyone haphazardly.
Now that we are less than a year out I am all the more thankful I have had so much time to plan! I can’t wait to keep y’all posted on all the fun things we have coming up 🙂
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